My magic world

O zvířátkách....

12. 8. 2006

Jdou dva lední méďi po sahaře a jeden povídá :
" Hergot, tady to muselo ale pěkně klouzat !"
Druhý na to :
"Proč ?"
"No, že to tady tak sypali !"

Ptá se skautský vedoucí malých skautíků:
Udělali jste dnes nějaký dobrý skutek?
Ano, já...přihlásí se malý skautík...já jsem dnes poslal svoje psy na dvě starší paní, které díky tomu dohnaly autobus.

Dvě mláďata tučňáka se ptají třetího:
"Tak co nato řekli táta a máma?"
"Dali mně pohlavek zobákem hned při prvních slovech!"
"A co to byla za slova?"
"Já mám chřipku!"

Jeden bohaty panicek se rozhodl jet do Afriky, a vzal si s sebou sveho verneho psa. Pes zacal honit motyly a ztratil se. A jak se tak potloukal po busi, vidi, jak se k nemu riti leopard se zamerem sezrat ho. Pes se lekl, ale vsiml si kosti roztrousenych kolem, usadil se a jednu z kosti zacal poklidne zvykat. A ve chvili, kdy se leopard chysta ke skoku pes rekne: "To vam reknu, to byl ale dobry leopard, mnam, mnam! Jestlipak je jich tady jeste vic!" Leopard to zaslechne a v posledni chvili se zarazi. Odplizi se do krovi a tam si rekne: "Fuj, ale to bylo o fous!" Opice, ktera to vsechno sledovala ze stromu, usoudila, ze tohle vsechno by se mohlo hezky zpenezit. Sla za leopardem a za mirnou odmenu mu vykecala, co vsechno videla a co se stalo. Leopard se rozzuril, ze si z neho pes delal srandu a sdelil smrtacky: "Vis co, vopice, vlez mi na zada a pojd se podivat co ja udelam tomu psovi!" Pes uvidi leoparda, jak utika s opici na zadech k nemu a rika si: "Co udelam ted, proboha!" Misto uteku si sedne zady k leopardovi a predstira, ze ho jeste nevidi a prave v okamziku, kdy se k nemu leopard priblizi na doslech, hlasite zavrci: "Hernajs, kde je ta zatracena vopice, co jsem ji pred chvili poslal pro dalsiho leoparda?"

„Víte jak nejvíc naštvete pštrosa?“
.
.
.
.
„To nevím.“
.
.
.
.
„Když zabetonujete dvůr.“

Jde Vasil kolem rybníka a vidí žábu.Žába na něj,,Kuňk,kuň",Vasil na to.,,CO je žábo.
A žába zase:,,Kuňk,kuňk,když mě políbíš bude ze mě krásná princezna".,,
No tak dobře"Řkne Vasil a políbí žábu,ale nic se nestane a žába na něj:
,,Vasile musíš se trochu snažit!"
A tak to Vasil zkusí jetšě jednou a zase nic.
,,Vasile,takového malého hudlana,musíš sesnažit.
A tak to Vasil zkusí ještě jednou a dá žábě takového hudlana,až se žába prohne.
A žába teď na to:
,,Vasile,Vasile,ty jeden debile já nejsem žádna krásná princezna,ale teplej žabák Emil.

Jde takhle šnek a potká druhého a ten říka tomu prvnimu
"hele kde máš ulitu ?"
a ten první na to: "utekl jsem z doumu"

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